When I started my preparations for my application to the Diocese of Sacramento for the continuation of my seminary formation, a lot of problems arose. But first I would like to give you the general picture of my situation. Since I migrated here to the United States, I worked as a full time employee of Fidelity Information Services in Sacramento (formerly in Auburn). Every day before I go to work, I drop off my mother to her job and pick her up after work because she does not drive. I am the one who buys at the grocery store. I am the one who drive them when they go to the hospital, stores, bank, anywhere. Basically, my parents are dependent of me. Moreover, my dad has a Parkinson’s disease that needs to be taken care of.
I asked God, how am I supposed to continue my seminary formation if all these problems are present? If I leave them, who will drive my mother to work? Who will go to the store to buy food? Who will drive my dad to the hospital in case of emergency and even for the regular checkups? In the United States of America, driving is a necessity in order for the citizens to live well and better. Not like in the Philippines, public transportation is available anywhere. These are the questions that are in my mind that needs to be answered only by God. These are the simple situations that will totally affect my future and the rest of the family. For me this is a stressful situation. To be honest, I thought that there will be no hope for me to apply to the Diocese of Sacramento.
“You have too much on your plate” said by one of my co-employee. I asked myself, how can I reconcile the situation given to me? Choosing my vocation to priesthood or choosing my family? This is a very tough situation for me, a dilemma…
I really prayed to God for the guidance and assistance. I said to Him: God please straighten the paths and the roads for my journey. But as they say: “there’s a light at the end of each tunnel”. God showed me the ways on how to deal with it. The whole family will sacrifice just for me to continue the chosen vocation. Right now we are planning to move to a new place where I don’t have to drive my mom to work. It is also near the grocery store, banks, and hospitals.
Choosing God above all else is so hard. I remember what Jesus said: "take up your cross and follow me." Jesus did not promise us an easy life but a hard one. We have to bear our own crosses and before we can follow him. We just have to believe that in this stressful situation, God will always be with us. He will not leave us because “if we see only one set of footprints in the sand, it is then that He carried us”. “Let go and let God”. I will try my best and I know that God will do the rest perfectly.
